Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Toyota Taps Ed Guru

March 9, 2010 (GBN News): Two days after being featured in a NY Times Magazine cover story, noted education consultant Doug Lemov has been hired by embattled Toyota to head up a cutting edge project aimed at re-establishing the company’s reputation. While the project has been cloaked in secrecy, sources at the company told GBN News that Mr. Lemov, who has no automotive experience, has come up with a process aimed at training factory workers to “recreate Toyota vehicles from the ground up”.

The new, retooled Toyotas will reportedly be built around a unique Lemov innovation, which insiders say will “revolutionize” the auto industry. While no name has yet been given to this invention, Mr. Lemov is said to be leaning towards calling it, “the wheel”.

In a move reportedly urged by Mr. Lemov, Toyota President and CEO Akio Toyoda also announced today that, effective immediately, the company is firing all of its technicians and production workers. Mr. Lemov is said to have cited research studies to convince Mr. Toyoda that the quality of a car depends solely on “good workers”, while factors such as the integrity of the materials, technology and working conditions are largely irrelevant. Mr. Lemov will be training the replacement workers based on the same 49 point taxonomy with which he trains new teachers.

J. Fredrick Runson, professor of automotive education at Manhattan Technical College, thinks that Mr. Lemov may prove to be the perfect man for the job. “He’s already shown a genius for repackaging as his own innovations a bunch of techniques that teachers have used for years,” he told GBN News. “He was even able to convince a very smart education writer, Elizabeth Green, that he’s on to something new. So I have no doubt that he can convince the automobile consumer that Toyota’s 'wheel' is a must-have.”