Wednesday, October 7, 2009

DOE Takes the Cake

October 7, 2009 (GBN News): In the wake of the NY City Department of Education’s much publicized ban on bake sales, the Department is planning to show parents and schoolchildren that it truly means business. Over the next few weeks, the DOE will begin supplementing its school metal detectors with mobile cupcake detectors. The new hi-tech devices are to deployed randomly around the school system, and will be set to sense the excessive sugar content of bake sale items. When found, such prohibited substances will be immediately confiscated by school safely officers.

It is unclear how most of the confiscated items will be disposed of. However, a source at the DOE told GBN News that Mayor Bloomberg ordered all confiscated Twinkies to be sent directly to his office “for safekeeping”.